The Misheard Conversation
by PastaLovingIdjit
Summary: One-shot! Just another World Meeting in which England overhears a very... interesting closed-door conversation. Uh-oh we know where this is going. Is England's imagination just spinning out of control or has America become a little bit too much like France? A bit of underlying USUK.


**So... who's up for a little oblivious USUK one-shot ;)**

The Misheard Conversation

(England)

England sighed and tried not to look as bored as he felt. The World Meeting just seemed to be dragging on forever today. Looking around he could see similar expressions on the other nations' faces.

Eventually a break was called and everyone was grateful to get out of their seats and stretch their legs. England stood up and turned to his left to ask America if he wanted to grab a coffee with him but to his surprise the obnoxious nation had already gotten up and left.

England glanced up and just saw the back of his bomber jacket as it disappeared down the hall. _Huh, I guess he had other plans_, England thought, slightly disappointed.

He had been wandering the halls aimlessly searching for something to do when he heard laughter echo down the hall from one of the closed doors. It was loud and boisterous and down-right annoying which meant that it could only be coming from America. England sighed as he walked past the door.

America was probably in there with Canada eating a ridiculous amount of hamburgers if England guessed. However, he stopped when he heard an unexpected voice come through the walls. His curiosity got the better of him and he back-tracked a little and pressed his ear up against the wall.

"Dude…" America said in awe.

"I'm glad you like it," England heard Switzerland reply happily. His bushy eyebrows rose in surprise. What the hell was America doing with Switzerland? England hadn't been aware that America even knew his name. He'd never seen the two of them even speak together.

"I had no idea you were packing _this_," America said excitedly. Switzerland made a noise that sounded a bit like embarrassment in the back of his throat. "I mean its _huge_!"

"Please, I'm sure yours is just as big," Switzerland protested but England could almost see him beaming with pride.

"Of course it is dude, I'm the hero so of course it's huge!" England couldn't believe what he was hearing. This had to be some sort of misunderstanding. "Dude we're totally gonna have to do this now!" America insisted excitedly.

"Are you sure?" Switzerland asked uncertainly.

"Totally man! I bet we can bang it out in less than ten minutes."

"Can I join too?" came a timid third voice.

"Of course Lichtenstein," Switzerland replied. England felt his mouth for a perfect –oh. What the bloody hell was Lichtenstein doing in there? "Are you sure dude? I mean no offense but you're pretty young and stuff," America voiced uncertainly.

"Nonsense," Switzerland said. "Lichtenstein is quite capable. She's done this type of thing more than a few times with me."

"Big brother's right," Lichtenstein agreed.

"Alright then dude it'll be a threesome then!" America declared. "I've always wanted to try that!" England felt his face getting more and more red every passing second. He didn't want to think about what he was hearing. He knew America was willing to try just about anything, but he never thought _that_ was something he'd be okay about.

"I'm going to top all of you!"

"If anyone is going to be topping then it will be me," Switzerland responded confidently.

"Dude if we can add more people to this then I'm totally gonna ask Prussia to come in," America told the two nations. England's eyes widened in surprise. He's going to invite _Prussia _for this? There's no way even someone like Prussia would consent to something like this.

Although, this is _Prussia_ we're talking about here.

"I'm surprised you wouldn't call England," Switzerland stated. England's head snapped up upon hearing his name.

"Naw man I don't think Iggy's into this kind of stuff anymore," America replied with a sigh. "He claims he's a _gentleman_ now. Naw, he wouldn't want to."

"That's too bad," Lichtenstein said. Outside England was fuming. Well of course he didn't want to do something like _that_ with them. Still he felt a little upset that America had discarded him so quickly. _Wait why the bloody hell am I upset about something like that! I mean it's not like I'd do something like that even if it was just America!_ Still he couldn't help turning even redder at the thought.

"Dude I'm going to text him now," America declared and there was a shuffling noise as America presumably took out his phone. "Oh man he's gonna be so excited. I mean he taught me almost everything I know." England didn't know if it was possible for him to get any redder.

Prussia taught America _what_?

After a few minutes England heard a noise coming down the hall and quickly hid himself in the adjacent room. Cracking the door slightly he peered out and saw Prussia walking towards the door, his annoying yellow bird flying in circles around his head and chirping obnoxiously.

"Alright Gilbird," Prussia said to the bird as he checked his phone. "This is the room." England watched as the two opened the door and walked in, closing it behind them. England quickly scurried out of his hiding place and retook his position at the door.

"Hola England!" England jumped a foot in the air and turned around to see Spain walking towards him, holding a hand above his head in greeting.

"You bloody git you nearly gave me a heart attack," England grumbled as Spain came over.

"Lo siento," he replied with a smile. "Say why are you standing against the door like that?" he asked.

"You git keep your voice down," England whispered harshly.

"Mi amigo your face is as red as a tomato," Spain said with a smile though he did manage to lower his voice. "What has you so worked up?"

"Well I um, oh wait they're talking again," England said quickly. Together the two nations pressed their heads against the wall and listened in.

"Kesesesese this is too awesome," Prussia decreed.

"Que? What is Prussia doing in there?" Spain asked. England held a finger up to his mouth to hush Spain.

"Well what do you say dude, you in?" America asked.

"Kesesese how could the awesome me refuse?" Prussia replied.

"So it will be a four way," Switzerland said.

"I'm going to top all you guys," Prussia assured them.

"Aw man this is going to be so awesome!" America declared excitedly. "It'll be just like the old days!"

"Kesesese Switzerland you have to tell me your secret on how you can carry something so big around without anyone noticing," Prussia joked.

"That's none of your business," Switzerland replied smoothly.

"If I could suggest adding someone to this I'll give Romano a call," Prussia said. Spain's head snapped up upon hearing Romano's name mentioned.

"Seriously, Romano?" America asked uncertainly.

"Of course," Prussia insisted. "He's not like Italy mind you. He knows how to handle the big ones, trust me I _know_." England glanced uneasily at Spain who had turned a sickly pale. "No… not my Roma," Spain mumbled to himself. England put a comforting hand on Spain's shoulder and continued to listen. _How the hell could America be okay with any of this_, England wondered to himself.

"Alright," America conceded. "I've never done it with an Italian, this should be interesting! What about Germany?" _Christ, how big of a thing do they want this thing to be? Are they going to take turns with each other or something?! God forbid they invite the Frog and this boils down into one huge orgy or something,_ England's mind whispered.

"Naw, he's too much a stickler for the rules," Prussia replied. "Besides, he'd just be worrying about Italy the whole time."

"Aw, that sucks," America sighed in disappointment.

"Well since our group has gotten a bit bigger I don't think we can do this quick," Switzerland said and England heard him zipping something up. "Why don't we take this back to my house after the meeting is over and do it there?"

"I've got no problem with that," Prussia replied.

"Aw man, me and Iggy were gonna watch a movie at his place tonight," America whined in disappointment. "I'm sure I can come up with some sort of excuse though. I'm sure he won't mind." England stood there fuming. What so now America was going to lie to him about this? England couldn't take it anymore.

He burst through the door without thinking shouting, "AMERICA YOU BLOODY GIT WHAT THE HEL-" He stopped abruptly as he saw the scene before him. Switzerland and Lichtenstein where standing in front of a table that had about seven or so guns laid out on it. Prussia was leaning up against the wall, curiously looking at England while Gilbird chirped above his head. America was spread out on the couch eating a hamburger and had jumped a foot in the air when he'd heard England's outburst.

"England what the hell?" America asked as he put the burger down. Spain came tumbling in after England and went for Prussia.

"Yo Spain what's u- hey what the hell man!" Prussia exclaimed as Spain grabbed Prussia's shirt and lifted him off his feet.

"What did you do with my Roma?" Spain bellowed at him.

"What the hell is going on here?" Switzerland demanded, picking up two of the guns on the table and pointing it at England and Spain while stepping protectively in front of Lichtenstein. "Spain put Prussia down!" Switzerland yelled as he pointed his gun at him. Spain didn't seem to hear him though and continued to hold Prussia up.

"What the...?" England said to himself. "This can't be right." He watched America jump to his feet and run over to Spain. Using his brute strength he pried Spain off of Prussia, dragging him back as Prussia collapsed on the floor breathing raggedly. "Wait what's going on here?" England asked uncertainly.

"We were just planning out our gun competition for after the meeting," America explained while he contained Spain. "I had overheard Switzerland talking about all the guns he owns and so I challenged him to a contest to see who the better marksman was. We came in here to talk over a place and time."

"But what about Lichtenstein and Prussia?" England demanded.

"Oh well Lichtenstein wanted to join in since I guess she has these types of competitions with Switzerland all the time," he explained. Lichtenstein nodded in agreement from around Switzerland's back. "I suggested asking Prussia to join since I know how much he loves this sort of thing from when he was training back during the American Revolution."

"Yes and then I suggested Romano come along too since I know he likes to play with guns," Prussia said as he shot Spain a look. "I mean the mafia originated in his country after all."

"Oh that's all?" Spain asked in his normal voice. Prussia nodded and America warily let Spain go. Spain walked over and helped Prussia to his feet. "Lo siento mi amigo," he apologized.

"Kesese it's okay I'm pretty sure I know what you were thinking," Prussia said with a smile. The way the two brushed past the event made England question how many times this happened to them on a monthly basis. "You know the awesome me knows better than that. It's _France_ you should ever worry about."

Prussia turned towards the rest of them. "I'll talk with Romano and meet up with you guys after the meeting is done," he said and together he and Spain walked out of the room. Switzerland sighed and put the gun back down on the table and resumed packing the rest of the guns in a black duffle bag that England hadn't noticed before.

"Dude you have to tell me your secret about how you can get so many in here," America inquired. "Like this isn't even in your country and you managed to sneak all them in here." Switzerland smiled as he packed the last one up and zipped up the bag.

"Maybe if you manage to win against me," he taunted before he and Lichtenstein left.

Now it was just England and America in the room. He realized he had made a huge mistake and felt his face turn bright red. America walked back over to the couch and finished eating his hamburger. "So Iggy why were you yelling at me earlier?" he asked as he wolfed down the last piece of the hamburger.

"Well, I um..." he hesitated. How could he explain to America that the thought of him doing something like, well _that_, with other nations made him feel insanely angry and jealous. America smiled and for a moment England thought that America had read his thoughts.

"I'm sorry I was going to lie to you," America said. England's mind had to backtrack for a moment. _Oh that's right, America probably thinks I'm mad because I hate being lied to_. "I was seriously looking forward to the movie though and I swear I'll make it up to you," America insisted.

"No it's okay America," England replied. "It's not that big of a deal."

"But it is," he insisted as he jumped to his feet. "Don't worry though, I'll totally make it up to you later." England felt his face turn red again as he thought of what making it up could possibly entail. "Yo Iggy!" America said. England blinked and realized America had just asked him something.

"I'm sorry what were you saying?" he asked. He noticed America's cheeks had turned pink.

"Well I was just asking you, well um, if you wanted to come over to Switzerland's place and, maybe, uh, watch?" England felt himself get redder. "I mean it's not like you'd be the only one there not in the competition. Spain will probably be there and maybe Germany and Italy too, so you wouldn't be alone," America added hastily, his cheeks flaming.

England was about to decline when he heard himself say, "Well, if you really want me to." He watched America grin.

"Awesome dude!" he cheered. "You can watch me kick everyone's butt! I'll meet up with you after the meeting is over!" With that he ran out of the room, leaving England alone.

_Bloody hell why did I just agree to that_, he wondered silently. He'd been all for declining and then his mouth had just talked on its own. England sighed. Well, there was nothing he could do about it now that he was going to be expected. Suddenly a bell sounded throughout the building, signifying that it was time for the meeting to reconvene.

England hurried out of the room and couldn't help smiling at the anticipation of watching the competition.


End file.
